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Posted by yckim124 Monday, December 18, 2017

Han Seo Hee posts a lengthy message and says she will see Jonghyun soon

Jonghyun, Jonghyun, Han Seo Hee

Han Seo Hee shared a lengthy post following the news about Jonghyun's death. 

The trainee expressed deep sorrow about the unfortunate loss of her longtime friend. She reminisced about their past times together and expressed much regret and sadness for not being there for him in his time of need. 

At the end of her lengthy message, Han Seo Hee stirred up concerns as she added, "I'll come see you soon."

Her full post reads as follows:

"I met you when I was 19-years-old, so it's been nearly 5 years now. When I called you after practice and complained about how hard it was, you always listened and I could meet up with you to have drinks when I'm bored, and oppa, I was able to open up to you. 

I don't know why but I depended on you a lot. I liked you a lot and I told you all the time that you are a good person. You were always someone amazing and someone who I could learn a lot from. I used to see you often when I was down or bored but for some reason, I was hesitant to reach out to you after going through controversies lately. Honestly, I was a bit embarrassed too... lol But I should've reached out to you. I should've just done it and beg you to meet me. I'm about to go crazy now in regret. I didn't even know you were going through a hard time, oppa. I still can't believe it at this moment while I'm here writing this. I just want you to say this is all a lie and come back. This can't be real. You would always stop me whenever I said I wanted to die. But why would you die oppa? I really can't understand. No, I'm starting to get mad. How can you be like this? I want to turn back time one day. If I can turn back time, I would do all I could to stop you. But I know that's impossible. That's why I feel like going crazy with regret and sadness. I've always complained about things to you. I never knew you were struggling. This situation is terrible.. Oppa, I miss you. I'll come see you soon, quietly. I'll be there to greet you without giving you any harm in a quiet manner. I'll be there to say hi. Oppa, it must be cold.. Wait for me, oppa."

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나 19살때 오빠랑 알게 됐으니까 벌써 알고 지낸지 5년이 되간다. 연습생 때 연습이 끝나면 오빠한테 연락해서 연습 뭐가 힘들다 뭣 때문에 짜증난다 하면서 칭얼대도 오빤 항상 내 얘기를 묵묵히 들어줬었던 오빠 였고, 심심할때 그냥 편하게 만나서 술 먹으면서 내 속 얘기 털어놓을 수 있는 사람도 오빠 였어. 오빤 항상 조언 해주면서 나를 타일러 주기도 하고 날 혼내기도 했었지. 나는 오빠한테 왠지 모르게 의지를 많이 했었어. 나는 오빠가 되게 좋았어 내가 오빠한테 항상 말 했었잖아. 오빤 진짜 좋은 사람이라고. 나한테 오빠는 항상 멋진 사람, 배울 점이 많은 사람이였거든. 힘들때나 심심할때 오빠랑 자주 보곤 했는데 이번에 내가 한창 시끄럽고 난 후에는 이상하게 오빠한테 연락을 섣불리 못하겠더라..맞아 좀 창피하기도 했어ㅋㅋㅋㅋ근데 그냥 연락해볼걸 그냥 연락해서 만나자고 졸라서라도 한번 볼걸. 후회되서 미쳐버릴 것 같아 난 그동안 오빠 힘든 것도 몰랐어 글을 쓰고 있는 지금도 안 믿겨 그냥 오빠 거짓말이라고 하고 살아서 돌아왔으면 좋겠어 오빠 진짜 이거 아니야. 오빠 내가 맨날 죽고 싶다고 할때 오빠가 말렸잖아. 근데 왜 오빠가 죽냐고. 난 진짜 이해가 안돼 아니 화가 나 이젠. 어쩜 그래 사람이. 난 하루 전으로 돌아가고싶어 시간을 되돌릴 수 있으면 되돌려서 오빠 때려서라도 뜯어 말리고 싶어. 그래 그럴 수 없는거 알아. 그래서 더 원통하고 슬퍼서 미쳐버릴 것 같아. 나는 그동안 오빠한테 맨날 칭얼대기만 했어 오빠 힘든건 알지도 못했어 이 상황이 너무 원통하다..보고싶다 오빠..얼굴 보러 곧 갈게 조용히 오빠한테 피해안가게 조용히 인사하러 갈게 곧 보자 오빠 추울텐데..조금만 기다려 오빠

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If you or someone you know is at risk of self-harm or suicide, seek help as soon as possible by contacting agencies specializing in crisis intervention and suicide prevention in the United States and abroad.
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