Dear My Family, Kim Jonghyun,
I've been very sad since you been away.
I thought "can we just skip right to may?"
I was scared that pain would take over me
And that everything sacred this month held for me, I would refuse to see.
I always thought that when this day finally came,
That I'd blame it all on the fame,
The sorrow, the pressure, the pain
Deep down this day scares me,
Having to celebrate your birthday without you.
I turned to a lot of people for help
and they told me to let it be
That there was nothing I could do
"He's in a better place", they said
Still every night, I see your face before bed.
I know I can be strong
Even if not for long
But bit by bit,
I know I can get through it.
Today is, was, should be, should have been your special day.
It hurts so much when I can't decide on which one to use in my sentences.
Because no matter where I got in this world, things will continue to be this way.
The pain that your absence brings is unexplainable
The hurt that's in my heart is indescribable.
You had a heart of Gold and you were married to music
You never wanted to see anyone in danger, not even a few sick.
Yes, you weren't perfect
But you were everything we needed
And the time you spent with us, no matter how short, will forever remain in our hearts.
You put others first before your own self
You gave us the one thing we wanted- "your attention"
But when you gave us the chance to figure out what it was that you wanted, we failed you miserably
We did you dirty!
We let you down
And I'm so so sorry.
You'll never leave my head and heart
And whenever I'm reminded of you,
I'll say a silent prayer for you and for your loved ones too
Be happy wherever you are and be free without pain and suffering
For today, we celebrate your beautiful soul!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AN ANGEL, A BEAUTIFUL SOUL, KIM JONGHYUN