The guy i loved is now dating someone else

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by igoi, Mar 12, 2016.

  1. igoi

    igoi Newbie

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    Hi guys.
    A few months ago i loved a guy, and he also loved me back.
    But today i found out that he is dating. He promised love me and i believed him back then.
    Even though i dont love him in that old intensity anymore, i am feeling so awkward.
    I am feeling betrayed somehow.
     
  2. funnyguy69

    funnyguy69 Rookie

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    those feelings are completely normal
    even after getting over somebody completely, it can still be hard to see that they've moved on
    it's almost like a second phase to getting over someone
    for now the best thing you can do is focus on you and your happiness and not pay attention to that guy and whether or not he is happy with his new significant other
     
  3. igoi

    igoi Newbie

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    he was the first guy i loved
    but now i dont have those feelings for him
    strange
    i started to feel unconfident
     
  4. funnyguy69

    funnyguy69 Rookie

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    don't feel unconfident
    you two just didn't work out together. even if it seems like it will be hard to find someone new, there are a lot of other options out there for when you're in a good place to receive them
     
    BlingingJams, igoi and seonday like this.
  5. silveroaksm

    silveroaksm Super Rookie

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    there are a lot of guys out there...don't lose it over just one of them.
    My first bf turned out pretty much the same as yours. But I found someone even better than him...and we broke up again lol. I am sure my next will be best out of the three. seriously we are too young to promise our love to anyone right now or expect the same of them. Just give it your best but if it doesn't work out, don't be sad...life has better plans for you :3
     
  6. igoi

    igoi Newbie

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    it seems like anyone is really interested in me.
    i dont know where i am wrong
     
  7. potatorose

    potatorose Newbie

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    "There are many fishes in the sea..", they say..

    Just be you, the confident you :)
    Don't let him break you!
     
    igoi likes this.
  8. soysaus

    soysaus Newbie

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    Getting over your first love is definitely hard. I don't even think I'm fully over my first love (even though I've never told him, nor gone through with it). It's very rare that anyone will stay with their firsts, so don't feel like you're the only one. Don't feel unconfident and as if anyone would ever love you again. Just know that there are still soooo many people you have yet to meet. It's bad to feel like this, but also know it's kinda normal.

    I think the best way to feel more confident about yourself again is to not sulk about this and stay shut in with your feelings but to better yourself! Get a nice haircut, buy some new fashionable clothes! Take care of yourself and better yourself for your next suitor, who will be better! Good luck and feel better!

    If you need anything, shoot me a message! :^)
     
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  9. seonday

    seonday Public Figure

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    Dang, I agree with all of y'all.

    I'm dealing with a similar situation, except the guy hasn't moved on to my knowledge. Moving on alone when you feel like that person was "the one" is hard, let alone dealing with him dating someone. In my situation, the guy was too afraid to pursue me and lied saying he never felt that way when we both know that he did.

    Like others said, don't let the thought of you guys not working out knock your confidence. In no way, shape or form does a failed relationship mean that you're not pretty/handsome, worth dating, or likable. You're all those things and more. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You're going to do great things, and you'll be okay.

    Something that helps me when I'm going through a tough time is the thought that God makes all things beautiful/well and this doesn't change just because someone else doesn't see that. Diamonds and gold will remain beautiful even if people don't say it. And if something doesn't work out, that means God has greater things in store for us.

    I hope you feel better soon @igoi ! <3
     
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  10. igoi

    igoi Newbie

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    I saw a picture of him and his new bf.
    I can't avoid thinking that guy was better than me.
    I was trembling when I see them. If it was months ago I would cry a lot, but now I don't because I don't love him anymore.
    I guess I am just frustrated because I thought the first love would love me forever
     
  11. stadiarosary

    stadiarosary Newbie

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    I understand what you're feeling. I loved a guy older than me several years ago. Things went downhill when he had crush on someone else and we started to fight for many times until we lost contact. I eventually go to the university where he and I study right now. We're from the same department so it's been really awkward when we met unintentionally in the building or when we took the same classes.

    I know I made the moving on phase more difficult than ever, but our interests are mainly the same like informatics and programming. But, we finally decided to become good friends again a year ago when we were in the same group for a uni project.

    The moving on phase is hard but you have to go through it. The phrase "Time heals" is true to me. After some time passes, you'll start to forget him and things that happened between you and him. Don't be frustrated because well, every cloud has a silver lining. Maybe in the future, you won't take a man's saying "I will love you forever" seriously based on your experience. If you have trouble to move on, you should focus your mind on other things like hobbies, school, etc.. Trust me, you will feel better.
     
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  12. igoi

    igoi Newbie

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    thanks for all the support, guys <3
     
  13. kodoku

    kodoku Star

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    Aw I'm sorry you got hurt but I think we learn and grow the most during the times we suffer so try to learn from this. Even if it hurts right now, try to be grateful that you experienced love. I would really like to experience it even if I ended up hurt again, anything is better than just emptiness and one day you'll be with a person you'll be way happier with:)
     
    Emileh and igoi like this.
  14. BigBlueagain

    BigBlueagain Super Rookie

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    The universe has a twisted sense of humor.
    When you're lonely, no one pays attention to you and the few that do, you don't want their kind of attention. Then you get tired of feeling lonely and you start doing things that interest you, hanging around people that make you smile, basically just keeping busy doin you.
    Then, when you're not paying attention at all and aren't even thinking about trying to be with anyone... BAM.
    Yeah, fuckedup but that's how it works. Just do you and give yourself time to get over the rest.
     
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