My father recently passed away. Apparently he was terminally ill. He confided in my older brothers but he chose not to tell me. He left me video messages and dozens of letters but he never explained why he did not want me to know. I find myself alternating between grief to anger to not feeling anything at all. There are days when I can't get out of bed and days when I'm so happy it seems I'm manic. Normally I would have my twin to talk through this but he's doing his military service right now. I don't know if this is normal or if I need to see a therapist. I get reckless and do dangerous things when I am sad. I am so angry at my father and I don't know why.