Mental Health Thread ♡

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by kddicted, Dec 28, 2016.

  1. strawberrimeii

    strawberrimeii Trainee

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    Its been a couple of weeks since my mom fell ill. She's been laid off at her job since and now it's only my dad making the money (it's not a lot either). My sister has been leaving the house too much and I feel as if she's not supporting the family enough. Despite these problems not being mine, I feel as if I am greatly affected. I have finals coming up and it worries me to see my mom not being able to stand up. I'm so sad and I feel so alone. My friends don't know how to help so they keep telling me it's not my problem. But is it really not my problem...? I look forward to the future but it's so dark right now there's barely any light left for me to hold on. I am still going to keep breathing and bear with these ongoing issues. Good luck to everyone who is going through something similar and feel like they're in a dark place.
     
  2. eldritchirene

    eldritchirene Rookie

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    You see, I can kind of relate to this. I am not going through it myself, but one of my dearest friends has a dad who is an alcoholic. He and my friend’s mom had broken up a long time ago, but they are still in touch. Her mom happens to have a condition where she has a very weak immune system and catches infections easily, so she is often very ill. This means that she cannot work, so the government gives her a little bit of money each year. However, it’s still not really enough for her and her two daughters. So, they are still financially depended on the alcoholic father. I’m just going to say that her dad is a horrible person. Back when her parents were still married, her father used to get drunk a lot and abuse her mother, and even herself and her twin sister. Her mother is very mentally scarred and fragile because of this, and they are still in touch. Which means, that every weekend, my friend’s dad calls her mom while drunk at 3 am and screams at her. And on top of that, her dad recently quit his job...
    It’s really, really unfortunate that this is happening to her, and it’s actually quite a coincidence that I found someone who can at least partially relate to this. Honestly, I think no matter how bad your life is, you should always focus on the good things in life, even if there are few. My friend, even though her life is hell, is one of the most optimistic and kind person I have met. I admire that, and I support her. Even when times are bad and she starts to become really depressed, she gets through it.
    I think you can do that too. :)
    If you are truly worried for your family, then it is definitely your problem as well. And that’s good in a way, because it means that you care. I think you should try to support your parents as much as possible, to make it easier for them. I’m sure that they are going through a rough time and would appreciate some love. Maybe tell them to look up and be happy. And try to help them as much as possible, while still not focusing on it too much when you’re not with them. Dwelling on your problems is one of the worst things you can do that really wastes away your life. I’m really sorry that you are going through so much, and I pray that you are able to cope and make it through. <3
    I’m sorry about the long post. Reading through your post just really struck a bell to me. Best of luck to you~ ❤︎
     
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  3. strawberrimeii

    strawberrimeii Trainee

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    I'm so deeply sorry for your friend.... :( Her situation is so much more unpleasant, it does make me grateful that my family is still together. I'm so thankful that you took some time out of my life to say kind words to me. You're right I must step up and do my best to lift them up. I've been so stuck on what illness my Mother could have. It's funny because my according to my sister, my Mom has a weak immune system too. Send my regards to your friend, for she sounds like a strong person! In all honesty, your comment has motivated me to try and stay optimistic no matter what! :D
     
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  4. eldritchirene

    eldritchirene Rookie

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    You’re always welcome! <3
    I’m glad that you found my words to be of help. Best of luck to you..
     
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  5. ItsMilly43

    ItsMilly43 ✧༺♥༻✧

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    I'm so sorry to hear this. Please take care of yourself and talk with someone if you need to. A trusted friend or family member, a helpline, or here.

    Please be gentle and caring towards yourself. <3<3
     
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  6. ItsMilly43

    ItsMilly43 ✧༺♥༻✧

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    It’s not long or pointless.

    Dreams are your minds way of sorting stuff out. It’s not necessarily involving the people in your dreams, but your feelings and emotions.

    Maybe the dream was trying to tell you that you miss closeness with someone, not necessarily with the person that you dislike, and you want to have someone there for you. An angel of sorts.

    I hope the feelings pass for you quickly, please try not to dwell on your dreams, or the things that upset you about this other person. <3<3
     
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  7. ItsMilly43

    ItsMilly43 ✧༺♥༻✧

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    I’m so sorry to hear you and your family are going through this.

    Is there any way you can speak to your sister and ask her if everything is okay? Maybe she isn’t coping with your mother being sick so just wants to avoid the house as much as possible.

    They involve people you care about, so it’s entirely natural to be affected by it, even if it’s not something you can fix. Please remember to take care of yourself as well, during this time. It’s very easy to be so focused on helping other people, that you forget to take care of yourself. Do you have a school counsellor you can go to, to speak with? You’re going through a lot in your home life, so finals on top of that might become a bit overwhelming.

    Like @eldritchirene said, could you try to help support your parents as well. It doesn’t have to be financially if you are unable to get a job (because your school work is important <3) maybe it can be something like taking care of your mum so your dad can work some more if he wants to, or so he can have some time out. Or doing the household chores and cooking dinner and such, so your parents don’t have to think about it. Maybe talk with your sister to see if the two of you can jobshare around the house.

    Please don’t hesitate to speak with someone about it, this is a lot to deal with and it’s okay to feel down or dark about it. But you will be okay. Reading your messages you have a lovely, positive outlook despite all the stressors at the moment, and that will help you through this tough time.

    We’re here for you whenever you need it.

    I hope it gets better for you quickly <3<3
     
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  8. ItsMilly43

    ItsMilly43 ✧༺♥༻✧

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    Anonymous Post #37
    I wish I had a normal childhood with a loving family. I hate my sister for abusing me while I was growing up, and I hate myself for not standing up for myself because I had such a low sense of self-worth. I haven't spoken to my sister in months, and we have been in minimal contact for years, and I'm still hurt when I think of how she treated me. I wish I could move on from this abuse. I hate her so much. Even when we're not talking, she still finds a way to backstab me, and I just don't understand how she can be so toxic (She backstabs other people too). It's not fair. I wish I had a good older sister. I'm so jealous of my friends who are close with their families. I resent my parents for not being around to defend me. I resent my older sister so much. I can't wait to get away from them.
     
  9. ItsMilly43

    ItsMilly43 ✧༺♥༻✧

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    I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. It's horrible the way she treated you and is treating you.

    Although it's hard, cutting off contact with your sister was a good idea, toxic people like that are not worth your time. They won't change, so it's best to leave them alone.

    This is very easy for me to say but it's hard to do, please try not to dwell on her or your parents actions. It's doing you more harm than good to do that. Even though it doesn't feel like it now, it will get better, and you will move on to an amazing life and your sister will stew in her bad ways.

    I wish I could say something to make it better for you. You're going through a hard time and you don't deserve it. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you need to talk more, either here, or to a trusted friend or family member, or to a counsellor if you can.

    Please take care of yourself, you deserve to be happy. <3<3 We're here for you if you need it.

    P.S. I'm sorry for the delay in posting and responding to this. I was having computer problems and couldn't access the forms.
     
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  10. ItsMilly43

    ItsMilly43 ✧༺♥༻✧

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    Anonymous Post #38
    I one day had a dream that I tried to stop a kpop artist (maybe it is better to not to mention which one it is) from attempting suicide.
    And sometimes I think about that dream and really hope that she is okay and won't attempt or die from suicide.
     
  11. ItsMilly43

    ItsMilly43 ✧༺♥༻✧

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    I'm sorry to hear that. It's been a horrible few years recently.

    I hope this person has people around them to support them, like you were in your dream.

    Thank you. <3<3

    P.S. I'm sorry for the delay in posting and responding to this. I was having computer problems and couldn't access the forms.
     
  12. ItsMilly43

    ItsMilly43 ✧༺♥༻✧

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    Anonymous Post #39
    My childhood was awful. I pretended to be okay when I was not. I didn't even know what anxiety was back then but I experienced it daily. Now it feels like I lost out on a limitless amount of opportunities due to my anxiety in my past. I missed out on so many things. I want to be a kid again.
     
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  13. ItsMilly43

    ItsMilly43 ✧༺♥༻✧

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    I'm so sorry to hear that you went through that.

    This is easy for me to say but hard to do, but please don't dwell on the past, it can't be changed. If you aren't happy with the way things were when you were growing up, maybe trying to make sure you live your present and future the best way you can might help you feel less like you missed out on things.

    I hope things get better for you. You deserve to be happy <3<3

    We're here for you any time you need it.

    P.S. I'm sorry for the delay in posting and responding to this. I was having computer problems and couldn't access the forms.
     
  14. strawberrimeii

    strawberrimeii Trainee

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    After reading your kind and helpful message I decided to do chores my Mom and Dad usually do. It doesn't seem like much but I know it gives them a break. You are a kindred spirit, thank you :D
     
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  15. ItsMilly43

    ItsMilly43 ✧༺♥༻✧

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    That's very kind of you. It might not seem like much but it will be a huge weight off their shoulders, so you're doing a wonderful thing.

    No problem. We're here for you.♡♡♡
     
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  16. ItsMilly43

    ItsMilly43 ✧༺♥༻✧

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    I know I'm usually the one replying to you guys in here so I hope you don't mind if I use this place.

    I just honestly feel so heartbroken right now at the state of the fandom.

    Chen fell in love, he wanted to marry her, and then received the wonderful but unexpected gift of a baby. (I don't care about the other rumours out there about the situation. I'm choosing to trust Chen's words, not some rumours on the internet)

    And the fandom, who supposedly loved him started calling for him to be kicked out of EXO. He hadn't hurt anyone or done anything illegal but the way the fandom reacted, it was almost like he announced he drowns puppies on weekends.

    I just feel so sad and hurt that such a sweet person who loves EXOLs so much that he wanted us to know this when he very much could have kept it private, would receive such horrific reactions.

    I know this happens all the time in idol dating news and the drama over dating scandals hasn't affected me in the past so I really don't know why it's hurting so much this time around.

    I just want all the boys to be safe, happy, and loved. And selfishly I don't want to lose EXO because some immature, overdramatic children can't handle the boys growing up.

    I am suffering from such bad mood whiplash at the moment.:(
     
  17. iCorn

    iCorn ♔KING KOBRA♔
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    I will find a way out of this darkness.
     
  18. eldritchirene

    eldritchirene Rookie

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    You’re not alone.
    I may not be an EXO-L, but I know how it feels when an idol that you care about gets undeserved hate for being a normal human. Fortunately, many other people also feel this way and are speaking up about the unfairness and hate from the so-called “fans.” I’m really sorry that this is affecting you this way. :(
    Many people forget that idols are normal humans that deserve a normal personal life. I also felt this similar pain when Red Velvet’s Yeri was bashed for crying at Jonghyun’s funeral. People believed that she should have concealed her feeling and acted properly in public, while other people around her were also emotional. Not once were they empathetic and thought about how they would feel if a loved one died.
    For now, I think it’s best to keep supporting Chen and praying that he is okay. He deserves a happy life with his new family, and angry fans aren’t about to stop that from happening. And as much as you want to think about the haters, remember that there are still people out there fighting for Chen like you. It’ll be okay. <3
     
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  19. eldritchirene

    eldritchirene Rookie

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    Yes, you will~ ❤︎
     
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  20. ItsMilly43

    ItsMilly43 ✧༺♥༻✧

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    You will.

    Darkness cannot exist without light.
     
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