Mental Health Thread ♡

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by kddicted, Dec 28, 2016.

  1. yuhyang

    yuhyang Newbie

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    I've suffered from depression ever since I was 14. The worst episodes of depression happened when I was 17~19, and when I was 27 (I'm 30 now) after falling in love with their music.

    It may be hard to believe but BTS are responsible for the worst psychological scar I've ever had. It's ironic; they are promoting love, but because of them I once thought that my life was over, and I was drained of all hope.

    I was thinking of writing a letter to them but I think they're not going to read it.

    Can't give you all the details of what happened to me but you will probably get it if I tell you that I'm a woman who lives in a very religious, conservative Arab society, and that I'm a fan of BTS lol.

    BTS are just a very small part of my life, but I didn't expect them to affect my life to this extent (beaten, humiliated, disowned by family.) I used to have hypertension because of that BTS drama happened between me and my family. But what's worse than that is feeling completely helpless and hopeless, and that my life would never change to the better. I literally felt like a zombie when I was 27.

    I found a shirt in BTSManiaShop with "Stand Alone" written on it, I was like, those people don't really know how it feels to be different and stand alone!

    I'm feeling better now. Currently working on publishing my third book.

    My mind has associated BTS with the worst memories I've ever had. I still listen to their songs but I find it hard to enjoy their music to the fullest. Of course it's not their fault that my life turned into this mess but life's unfair lol.
     
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  2. ItsMilly43

    ItsMilly43 ✧༺♥༻✧

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    I'm so sorry to hear what you went through but I'm so happy to hear that you're doing better now.

    And publishing your third book is so amazing! Congratulations!

    Hopefully one day you will be able to listen to BTS without being reminded of what happened because it sounds like you really do love them.

    I am so glad you got through everything and fought to get where you are now. You are an incredibly strong and brave woman.
    Thank you for sharing your story.

    We're here for you if you need us.<3
     
  3. yuhyang

    yuhyang Newbie

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    Thank you :)
     
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  4. KaiRismatic

    KaiRismatic Rookie

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    After watching the movie Joker to the cinema, I understood lot of things about mental illness and depression...
    When Arthur writes in his book: ''The worst part about having a mental illness is people expect you to behave like you don't'' I realized how much truth there's in that quote and this applies a lot to depression.
    People suffering from depression are the ones who never show it but act like they're happy and always smiling and this is the main reason hurting people suffering from this.
    And I perfectly know this feel suffering since 14 years old from depression and still fighting against it even after have changed my life, that monster is always there still tormenting me sometimes and getting me pessimist and negative about what am I doing with my life and the sense of it. There are times when I'm tired of smiling and showing to people that I'm happy, smiling and fine when in reality I'm not.
     
    #15264 KaiRismatic, Oct 20, 2019
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2019
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  5. Afya

    Afya Super Rookie

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    I watched Joker recently too and damn that movie hit me so damn hard
    Seriously one of the best movies I have watched (I'm not even into marvel movies usually)

    I used to pretend I am alright, but in recent years I understood I shouldn't suffer alone, so since then I've started talking more openly about my life and I feel its much better. My family is pretty messed up, so in the past I used to lie about many things to my friends, I just thought they wouldn't understand. But its always better to be honest about everything, I feel like I've overcome a big wall ever since I started becoming more honest about my struggles. And I still believe one day my life will be much better, I just shouldn't lose hope
     
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  6. Kahoru

    Kahoru Rookie

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    It was difficult to take a step back and acknowledge that what I wanted (and quite possibly, still want) was nothing more than a man's attention. I wasn't getting it from the one man I wanted to get it from, so, when I started getting it from someone else, I jumped on it and was happy to finally be appreciated, and looked out for. I felt special - he looked for me, waited for me, looked for any opportunity to meet up with me, was constantly in touch with me and I knew he was interested in me. What more could I want? In the back of my mind, however, I knew that I was simply happy with the attention, but that I didn't want anything serious, nothing beyond a friendship. I thought there would be no harm in letting things flow. But, when things started feeling a bit too serious with him, I realized that I needed to put a stop to it before it was too late. I knew that, if I said nothing, I'd end up hurting him in the long-run and I'd end up unhappy if I decided to just go with something out of fear of hurting him, and out of the desperation I felt from not having been in a romantic relationship for years. I did what I had to. I have to admit, I'll miss the attention, I'll miss him constantly coming by to hang out with me, but I know that if I had let things continue like this, it would have been much worse. I feel bad, of course I do, but I feel proud of myself for acknowledging that I was excited about the attention I was getting, and not so much about the person himself. My self-esteem is so low that I was almost willing to just date the first person who showed interest in me because I felt (and still feel) like I won't ever meet anyone else, who I have interest in and who also has interest in me. But I had to take a step back and love myself a bit for the first time, while at the same time, keeping his feelings in mind. Though I am afraid of the repercussions (mostly, due to his own mental health; I know for a fact about his own depression and self-esteem issues) I hope that he realizes it was better off this way, with me setting the record straight early on. I'm scared, I'm worried and I'm sad, but...I did what I think was the best.
    I post this here, because it has to do with my own mental health - my desire for a man's attention to feel good about myself, my self-esteem. And I just needed to get it out, to vent and take a deep breath.
     
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  7. Y3M

    Y3M Super Rookie
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    To all the people, that are still worried about me:

    I am alright.

    And to whoever I introduced myself as an ex anorexic, long time ago in this thread, I lied. I still am one. I guess with time you just learn how to live with it. It comes back to you sometimes, stronger than ever. You battle it for two years, rest for half a year. Repeat. You lose a lot of hair on the way, even more kilograms, self esteem and friends. But as depressing as it sounds, I can always slap myself back into reality when it's starting to endanger my life.

    I think I've found my way in the last two months, though. I want to be a teacher. Yes, I definitely want to become one. Now I'm sure of that.
    I will study hard to achieve it.
    I can't have my own kids. They give me a colossal energy boost, though. I feel so needed and free in their presence.
    I will probably regret this post later on, but.. Yeah. I'm fine.
     
  8. ItsMilly43

    ItsMilly43 ✧༺♥༻✧

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    It's incredibly brave for you to do what you did. Look introspectively and realise what you need and what you want and take steps to get there.
    I know it would have been hard for you to end it like that but it was the right thing in the long run.

    I know it may not seem like it now, but one day you will find someone who treats you right and gives you all that you need and you will love them, not for the attention they give you, but for who they are.

    You are a wonderful person and I hope that one day soon you will realise it.

    We're here for you.<3
     
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  9. ItsMilly43

    ItsMilly43 ✧༺♥༻✧

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    I'm sorry to hear you're still suffering, I hope one day you can introduce yourself as that and it won't be a lie.

    I'm so glad to hear that you have a goal in mind, something you are really excited about and am working towards.

    We're here for you whenever you need <3
     
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  10. New_ONCE

    New_ONCE Rookie

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    My last post was a short one and an anonymous one, if anyone wanna know which it was I'll gladly tell.

    Well, after wanting to die and actually attempting to attempt it (sounds weird I know) my heart feels so much better.
    It's weird and it may seem as total drama, but in just few days life gave a 180° degrees turn.

    I may still be scarred and damaged, I know that's the case. Buuuuut, I have to say that I feel stronger, I feel loved and I feel capable of beating the crap that placed me down.

    So, I just want all you to know that even if shit happens and we feel it's the end, somehow we are always capable of saying NO and taking back the control of our lives. <3

    Never, any of you, lose hope.
    Because if we don't have it, if we don't believe in ourselves; then our worst fears, or whatever is doing this to us, will win.

    And we shall not be crushed when we can regain our lives back.
    :merongk:

    So, I send positive vibes and my best wishes to all of you.
    Find your strength, no matter if it's inner or someone else lends it to you, just find it and never surrender to those dark feelings.

    There's always a light, sooner or later.
    Never lose hope.
    :loverr3:
     
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  11. ItsMilly43

    ItsMilly43 ✧༺♥༻✧

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    This is such a beautiful thing to say and I am so glad that you've got to this place and are fighting through it.

    You really are a wonderful and strong person and I wish you all the best in your recovery.

    Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

    Thank you so much for the encouraging words and sharing your story. <3
     
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  12. ILOVECATALLENAAA

    ILOVECATALLENAAA Founding member of Chaewon's cult
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    Love you!
    :D:D:D:D
     
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  13. busker-the-pup

    busker-the-pup Trendsetter
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    hey, you probably don't remember me but we met earlier this year and talked about our family and grandparents and everything...you gave me such good vibes but for whatever reason i don't think we got to talk more after that.

    i hope you're okay. when you said 'slap myself back into reality when it's starting to endanger my life'...i felt that. i used to have an eating disorder and handled it the same way you did - let it become worse and worse until i had to force myself back into normality for health reasons. it feels like it's far in the past now, but the truth is, to this day low moments bring out that ugly thing i thought i'd exiled from my system. when i'm stressed or upset about something, i find myself redirecting that negative energy into something i can control, aka my weight. it's a shitty cycle honestly, but what i can tell you is:

    1. it gets better. The 2 years-half year cycle becomes more of a 2 years-2 months cycle.
    2. if you need it, you can and should get help. I regret not talking to people about it earlier, because it's helped me so much.

    it heartens me so, so much to hear what you want to do. Remember I told you gramps is a professor too? it's a godly profession built around helping others become better, and i have mad respect for everyone who goes into it. You've stricken me as mature and eloquent, and i'm going on a gut feeling here but i think you'll be great at it. And fuck, I love kids too. They make me happy for no reason.

    All the best mey, take care <3 weird as it sounds if you need to talk more about any of it, i'll be more than happy to :)
     
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  14. jisungstoes

    jisungstoes Married to @jeonginsnose
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    im so sick and tired of working my ass off everyday. missing sleep. missing normal teen things just to get no result.
    and then someone who doesn't do their job says "well maybe you didn't try hard enough" that literally makes me want to die. this isn't what im meant to be doing. if i keep going at this rate, i won't be around long enough to do what im meant to.

    why can't you just understand that we have different personalities and preferences?????? we are the same person. we were born 9 YEARS APART. what is comparing us going to accomplish?? especially since she grew up differently than i am?

    why do yall favor her more than me??? she aint even related to yall and she DOESN'T like yall.... hm sounds sus. but you'll regret the day you sided with someone who is just using you over your own blood relative
     
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  15. Y3M

    Y3M Super Rookie
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    Of course I remember you and your grandpa. Thank you so much for an advice and good wishes.
    I hope your kindness will always come back to you, and our eating disorders let us enjoy the life more. It's very beautiful, people around us are always worth living and fighting for.

    Ive been under a professional medical centre since the age of 13, but with an age after 20 and an illness that is not continuous its hard to get any professional help here. I will, if I feel it taking over me, though.
    Right now I'm a strong gal ^^ i try handling it better. My worst phase is over for now.
     
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  16. ItsMilly43

    ItsMilly43 ✧༺♥༻✧

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    I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I can kind of relate, I'm struggling with a similar thing with my coworker at the moment, working as hard as I can, barely having sleep or a life, only to be told it's not enough.

    As hard as it will be, try to focus on where you want to be, rather than where you are. You sound like an incredibly hard worker so you will get there and laugh as you leave them.

    I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with your family. I wish I could offer words of advice there. All I can say is keep trying, you will get where you want to be.

    I'm sorry I can't be much help. I'm here for you if you need me.
     
  17. ripiasuju

    ripiasuju Icon

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    Wow this is so rude.

    So am I just a screen to you Bina?!?!?!

    I'm half joking in case someone doesnt get it

    But at the same time not really..:angryr: rude bina r000dddd
     
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  18. lidora

    lidora Rookie

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    Sometimes you have to make yourself the priority and not feel bad about it. There are some people who can never be... satisfied. Who will find fault in you anyway, no matter what you do.

    I don't understand the situation but I hope you can do yourself and somebody will actually see you as you and love you (romantically or friendly) to the moon and back for it! And I hope you can rest in soul and body!
     
  19. lidora

    lidora Rookie

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    I have so much to do I couldn't get a lot of sleep for the third day in row and while I can't take a break I just hope I pass the fuck out so I do have a real non-lazy reason to sleep and miss lessons...
     
  20. ItsMilly43

    ItsMilly43 ✧༺♥༻✧

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    I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you get to have a proper rest soon and don't pass out.
     
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