Mental Health Thread ♡

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by kddicted, Dec 28, 2016.

  1. Papayaaa

    Papayaaa Public Figure

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    I visited my doctor many many times during the last couple of years because of multiple ongoing physical and lately mental issues. My problems are real, my doctor is a good, caring doctor, and he never makes me feel like I'm crazy or anything. So I should feel fine about seeing him. But I always have this fear deep down that he starts to not take me seriously anymore or that he starts to think that I'm stupid and unable to take care of myself. Before every consultation I have this weight in my stomach like a big ball of guilt and shame. I ofen find myself ruminating on this and it's really adding another layer to everything.

    I know this fear is irrational and that there's nothing to do except ignoring it but I'm dropping this here because I never had the occasion to express this feeling clearly.

    While I'm at it:

    -I deadly envy all those healthy 50+ peple who can enjoy life and do so many things while I'm a fucking 25 years old ball of constant pain. Sometimes the devil on my shoulder just wishes everyone was like me.
    -Dear chiropractor, I know you only meant well, but I fucking hate you for doing this to me. I told you my neck was sensitive. it feels like my life was stolen away from me, I haven't been myself for months, I have to be careful about every little thing, nothing is the same anymore, my brain doesn't know how to process this and I can't even curse you or sue you because I know you meant well.
     
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  2. kodoku

    kodoku Star

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    maybe you can call up a family member or an old friend if there is someone like that in your life..? maybe you can meet new people too (if you're comfortable with that).. in any case I hope you feel better soon <3

    that sucks, really sorry to hear it. Do you think you would feel better if you talked to your doctor about this? maybe it would help hehe. And yeah health is really so important and it's so unfair that some people don't get the same chance as others..
     
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  3. New_ONCE

    New_ONCE Rookie

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    Occupation:
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    I started reading a book about Russian history through the previous century.

    I'm feeling better as my mind gets distracted.

    So, yay, I guess.
    At the same time, I think I'm getting ready to expel the person that has wrecked my mind since July... But I'm not entirely sure tbh.
     
  4. Papayaaa

    Papayaaa Public Figure

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    I'm gonna try to be upfront about this next time, maybe it will alleviate some of the weight. It's just that I'm afraid I might burst into tears haha. But I guess I'll see then
     
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  5. New_ONCE

    New_ONCE Rookie

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    She wanted a flower, but he gave her the whole garden.
     
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  6. ChoIzanami

    ChoIzanami Newbie

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    "People don't cry because they're weak. They cry because they've been strong for too long."

    I know that it can be hard to cry infront of people. But don't be afraid of it. I cried while beeing with my therapist a few times. Tears just show that you care and that something is really important to you. And maybe you'll feel better afterwards, as crying releases the tension. It's one of the most natural things to do. So everything will turn out just fine, you'll see. Don't worry.
    I applaud you for talking about that. It's a sign of how strong you are. You can only be a brave person when you accept your fears. And if this fear is a real thing for you, it's not irrational at all. It's one of the demons you tackle every day. And you're doing an amazing job holding your ground. Please be proud about how far you came.
     
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  7. Papayaaa

    Papayaaa Public Figure

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    Thank you so much for your message! It helps :) I hope you're doing well
     
  8. Papayaaa

    Papayaaa Public Figure

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    I became addicted with expelling mind wreckers haha it gets so much easier when you've done it once.
    And after the grief comes the big relief. Courage!
     
  9. begginforthread

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    Life is too short to waste time playing bullshit games with people. If they don't respect you and how you feel.. fuck em. Get rid of them and move on.
     
  10. 1000shineetrash

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    i wonder if im rly suffering this much or if im just being weak abt it
    i wanna die so much... i honestly think living is not for me
     
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  11. kodoku

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    yeah I also often catch myself thinking why are people playing games and trying to win against each other so much.... we should live in a more honest way, I think..

    I'm so sorry hun... I get it, especially that last part.. but we are here, we've been given this life even if we didn't ask for it.. the best thing to do is to try our best, make the best of it. And I know, I know it's so hard.. just.. know I'm here for you <3
     
  12. 1000shineetrash

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    thank you <3
     
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  13. Tuturuu

    Tuturuu Public Figure

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    After being depressed for my entire freaking life due to a mix of bad chemistry and poor emotional and cognitive patterns, it's a bit strange to find yourself happy.

    You're confused and suddenly all that made you...is no longer you. Depression becomes a part of your personality, it's horrible but it's true.

    Happiness is something that needs to be adjusted to.
     
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  14. kodoku

    kodoku Star

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    wow that's amazing, I'm happy for you, congratulations :) it also gives me a bit of hope for myself hehe
     
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  15. Tuturuu

    Tuturuu Public Figure

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    I really hope you find peace, you definitely deserve it for being such a kind person.

    If I can share a bit of my own experience, I had one of the worst years of my life. I expected myself to be a mess but it got so bad I had no other choice than to look inward and rid myself of all the things that were bothering me. Even when it gets horrible and you're in a pit, recovery is always possible.
     
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  16. kodoku

    kodoku Star

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    thank you.. that's very sweet of you to say and again, I'm really happy for you <3
     
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  17. pixilattedd

    pixilattedd Rookie

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    Been a while since i've been here... But, I do think others opinion would be necessary, since everyone involved in this is biased:

    So... This is going to be a long long story. I live in Brazil and I study Animation, but it's a course that it didn't have in public colleges in my home state, and I needed to move from home to study the course that I wanted. But, this is a very important thing, I don't have a relationship with my parents, so I always related a lot with friends. And when I arrived here, it was all fun and bright and it kinda astounded me that my class had 20 people. And... When I mean that the class was toxic, oh boy... Nobody was indeed supportive or encouraged others to do their best, and even if you did, they wouldn't do it to you, and if you did something really nice, you would be competition. And since the class was small, there was nowhere to run if you didn't fit the standards, which were pretty stupid. I tried to do surprise parties and make happy moments giving bubble wrap to everyone and trying to make parties because I have fitted the standards, but... Soon, we are 4/7 semesters along the course and we are down to 12 people. It gets harder and harder not to be caught in their emotional drama. In the last few weeks, I have listened to multiple people break-ups (usually from both sides so I can't really take a stand) and opinions about each other that it's draining me so much. So I decided that I needed to make new friends or reconnect with people from my home state and I started kind of it. I recently started working out, going to theraphy and it all seemed to go fine, until the government made stupid decisions.

    Also public universities around here are facing problems due to the conservative government wanting to cut money from them due to ideological differences and because our president is a douche, so my university will probably close down even if we did a student strike or not. And this led to us, students from the course (a new and small one) went to a meeting to discuss that. The 12 people plus others from the course had to take a position and two friends of mine were against it for some reasons and everyone was really quick to shut them down and not listen to them, judge them and everything. Pretty much, they are socially dead in the course. And they were treat unfairly and in a rude manner by a lot of people. Now we decided that (me included) are a close group of seven people and every one else is not welcome for numerous reasons (manipulation, victimization, narcisism and extreme avoidance). Also, today was my first time ever that I lost the patience with somebody I was friends with because of the hypocrisy that person showed making a stand in front of everyone.

    It doesn't seem to be the type of place that is nice to grow with. Now we probably have to lose this semester and we have a lot of free time, I am probably going to stay here but I am worried about being here for my mental health and I honestly don't know what to do about it. Focusing on me is great and probably the best thing I could do, but... I wonder if anyone has any recommendations about how I could handle this situation. All in all, it's complicated for me considering the first thing mentioned and I know it's time to set boundaries, but I am not exactly sure how to do it in a non-extreme way. It seems some people only will be happy when they destroy each other.
     
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  18. kodoku

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    well that sucks, sorry to hear it. people can't be changed, maybe it's best you emotionally distance yourself from the people toxic for you. Work on your stuff and just be polite to them, but don't get too close to them I'd say.. keep your goal in mind and work on it, those people will be gone from your life eventually. I also hope it's possible to make some friends elsewhere, just around town or wherever.. Idk what's going on in your country, but it sounds frustrating. I hope everything works out..
     
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  19. ripiasuju

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    :(

    I just try to be strong, I'm trying hard to be strong.

    Just it hits me suddenly then I cant cope, how can you just give someone everything then be thrown away I don't understand is there something wrong with me? How i am? Have i changed? My best is not enough? Am I not enough?

    I'm not coping, I wish I could be strong but why am I so weak? What did you do to me, I just need you dont you get it? But oh well, who cares absolutely fucking nobody.
     
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  20. Tuturuu

    Tuturuu Public Figure

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    I lost some friendships this year and it was extremely difficult for me to cope. Maybe it's just me but I invest way too much into my friendships and it hurt a lot to see that the other side did not even care. You try your best but it doesn't end up being enough - it's very crushing for your self-confidence.

    It's not weakness to care, it's not strength to be ambivalent to everything. Opening up and caring about someone takes a lot of courage because you might end up getting hurt - that's real strength, at least in my opinion.

    Just because it didn't work out between you doesn't mean you lack anything. Sometimes people change and there is nothing wrong with that. You will find people who are better for you - just remember to appreciate the good folks already in your life. Toxic relationships and friendships can be addicting, their acceptance becomes validation for you but in the end you can't rely on anyone but yourself to give you this security.

    If there are any lessons to learn from this, accept them, but don't think that parting from a person determines your value in any way. It took me a while to get that through my head.

    Anyhow, I hope you find a way to cheer up. I went through some heavy shit this year so your post resonated with me.
     
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