Do you ever had suicidal thoughts?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by igoi, Mar 19, 2016.

  1. igoi

    igoi Newbie

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    First of all, I want to make it clear that I'm not supporting those thoughts.
    But so, I always do have these kind of thoughts.
    My life is very tough now, and it seems like hard to change.
    I always assume it would be better to give up and kill myself, cause that's the only way i will be free.
    I hate my family, and it was a punishment for me having this aunties and uncles.
    I wish I was a female, so I wouldn't be blamed for being gay. It's not something to feel ashamed but its hard to live as a gay person.
    I don't believe people. I wanted to be loved, but I don't want to give myself into a relationship. People betray, replace you and I'm not willing this.
    Even if I was a female, I think I would be depressive. Because I genuinely think lifes not worthy.
    I hate the sun, I hate smile. I hate friends that I don't have.
    I hate my life, I wish I could be in another country, being another person. I wanted to free myself but I'm still a student.
     
  2. KawaiiPotatooo

    KawaiiPotatooo Public Figure

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    i did once because of my parents but then i realized that there are people out there that needs/loves me
    even though this may sound off but there are people that loves and needs you.
    many people are supporting LGBT in my country, i know a teacher in my school that's gay too, he's married to the person he loves and nobody's making a big deal out of it
    yes people betray, and replace you. That's part of human life but eventually you'll find someone who loves you and accept you for who you are.
    you only live once so live life happily and don't give a shit to what other people say to you
    [​IMG]
    sorry i just thought it was the appropriate time to use this quote......
     
  3. igoi

    igoi Newbie

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    But the main point is.... Life is meaningless.
    I can find someone who loves me and a lot
    of other guys too.
    I used to believe love was the reason
    that makes life gets sense.
    But now I don't. Even love is not enough
    to proof that life is worthy
     
  4. xwhisperx

    xwhisperx Leader

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    To be honest you shouldn't depend on anyone else to make you happy, if you continue to think that, you will always feel like you need someone. you need to start to think a little selfishly at times, and find things that make you happy. Love itself is a strong emotion, but if you don't at least love yourself or except yourself as you are, you'll keep holding yourself back and reverting to a place where you don't want to be.
    You seem to spend alot of time dwelling on what you don't have and sink into all the bad things that are happening around you instead for finding yourself and moving forward. You seem stuck in an infinite cycle of self pity and wishful thinking. Talking only goes so far and action has to be taken to break the cycle.
    If you really want to change things, you need to take steps to do so, nothing changes over night so it will take some work. If you really need help i would suggest going to counsellor (They might have some at where you study which might be free, or you'd have to search around) they're not just there to hear your problems they can also advise you with techniques on how you better your thinking and maybe point you in the right direction to help you out of this cycle. You obviously want more out of life than what you currently have, or else you wouldn't be here venting. (which is fine everyone needs to at some point)

    To answer your original question, yes i have, and have attempted on two occasions, so i know full well how bad it can get. people can only help you so much but ultimately its you that has to power through, but if you're not strong enough yet or ready to accept help and push forward, then it will continue as it is. theres no quick way out of depression, its a long road and things tend to get worse or better if you let them.
    (Sorry if this comes off as harsh, there's really no other way to put it)

    In black & white, yes life does seem pretty meaningless as you're essentially born to die at some point. but the things you do with your life makes it meaningful to you, the dreams you have, the experiences, memories, hobbies all the good and all the bad is what makes life meaningful to people. Not just love alone.
     
    #4 xwhisperx, Mar 19, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2016
  5. stabbed

    stabbed Newbie

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    I don't want to die, but I have a mental illness and the suicidal thoughts won't leave my head. I hate being around people, I prefer being alone. I don't want to go to school and I don't want a job. I only want to stay inside my room for the rest of my life. I hate the sunlight too. I'm only happy when I'm on the computer. When I go outside into the real world I feel so crappy "I'm forced to deal with what I feel, there is no distraction to mask what is real"
     
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  6. emmy_loe

    emmy_loe Idol

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    damn you always know the right things to say, im inspired
     
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  7. emmy_loe

    emmy_loe Idol

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    I think we all want to be someone else, but at the end of the day a person's life sucks just as equally. I have had suicidal thoughts, it was actually pretty recent too, but every now and then i get these glimps of what happiness is supposed to be and it keeps me a bit more hopeful.

    I have reached a point in life where i dont think i need someone else to keep me happy, because a mere good day, or if i do something a bit selfish like buying myself my fave food or album I'll be happy.
     
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  8. Sugoi_Jagaimo

    Sugoi_Jagaimo Newbie

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    Yes, I even attempted it before-- and failed (funny story that I can look back and laugh at now)

    I do have thoughts from time to time, but I won't ever try to end my life again, because I know that the bad times I'm going through at the moment isn't all there is to live. There's so much more, and I will discover it too, I'm not going to give up. I'm using my passions as my main motivation, and the people around me that love me as my determination.

    If you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here for ya!
     
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  9. Sugoi_Jagaimo

    Sugoi_Jagaimo Newbie

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    You're a gorgeous person; love the way you worded this!
     
  10. xwhisperx

    xwhisperx Leader

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    @Sugoi_Jagaimo & @emmy_loe Thanks Guys. I'm not one for sugar coating things, especially when i know how it is. (Although i'm not as harsh as i could be because that helps nothing, although depends on the type of person you are, some need tough love) My life experiences tends to pay off in these stituations, so i do what i can to help even if its only words but whether or not someone listens is really upto them. Life is tough ^^
     
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  11. findtheakarun

    findtheakarun Super Rookie

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    Sure I have. But it keeps me going to know that everything could turn around at any moment. If you keep going, you could be met with good or bad. But if you end it, you have nothing. Just emptiness. Best to keep waiting, giving up attains nothing.

    A few months ago I was depressed about a whole bunch of shit, and the lack of direction in my life wasn't helping. Felt like there wasn't much to keep going for. I wasn't moving towards my goals, I was stuck in the same spot being miserable.
    A few weeks later I found my current job, the best gig I've ever had.
    So, there ya go, basically. You never know when life could flip on its head.
     
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  12. Sugoi_Jagaimo

    Sugoi_Jagaimo Newbie

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    You weren't harsh at all girl, and sometimes it's necessary to make things stick to people's minds. Being realistic is what we need more of in this world now a days, there's too many people sugar coating things. That's right, life experiences have a lot of effect on a person =D
     
  13. LegendaryTsunade

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    Idk. Maybe.

    But i would never even try doing it. Hurts my self-esteem.
     
  14. derpyfreesingle

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    @igoi Yes. It's one reason why I left AKP last year. I kinda had a meltdown. I'm STILL recovering, although I'm not sure one really 'recovers' from stuff like that... but just learns to deal with it as another layer smothers you.

    I think you're right; even if you were someone else or the opposite sex, life wouldn't be better. Life is what you make it, rather, your attitude towards life determines if you get up when you fall down or if you just lay there. Many days I want to just lay there, but I know that if I don't get up, then I won't be there to help when someone needs me. I'm sure you're feeling like your youth is taking forever to complete and that you can't wait to grow up so you can go and do what you want but... one day you will miss it. You'll long for that innocence and protection. I know I do.

    You don't need to change for others to like you--change should come because you want to better yourself. And you're right about people being like that. We can't change others, no matter how hard we try. Some people will always betray us... lie to us... cheat us... etc. But there are people who would never do that and love others unconditionally. Finding those people is what makes life worthwhile. I believe each of us were born for a reason. Sometimes we never know why we are who we are, but sometimes others do. Sometimes it's for their benefit, to help shape them into good people. Be the change you want to see in the world. Look in the mirror and say, 'so many people have not made it this far, but I'm still here. I have to keep going!' :)
     
  15. TaoTaoChenChen

    TaoTaoChenChen Trainee

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    When I was younger (and bullied by everyone) yeah I had sucidal thoughts, I even Attempted but this random guy who was walking past, his name was Caelen, pulled me through and talked me out of it.
    And now as a high-school student, and the already amount of stress I'm under, I'm afraid that I might get those thoughts again.
    As for you my chingu/oppa you shouldn't let your sexality bring you down, remember, out there is your Mr.Right is waiting you just have to find him, and he also has to find you :)
     
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  16. Lotus_Girl

    Lotus_Girl Rookie

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    Come and set next to me, seems we are similar without gay part T-T I'm straight but hell yeah I feel you :'(
     
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  17. Lotus_Girl

    Lotus_Girl Rookie

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    If it wasn't to kpop and god power, I would've be in grive by now, I got suicidal toughs I tried to suicide once, but what can we do :'( this is life, this is the path life given us :'(
     
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  18. Matoki_BAP

    Matoki_BAP Newbie

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    I do have suicidal thoughts and I hurt myself because I can't handle emotional pain. But I can't give up because I know my family will miss me and I think they will feel the same like I do now and I can't do that to them. I don't want to hurt anyone but myself and it's hard to live with the scars but I manage to do so because I love my family (eventhough I hate the rest of the world, except for Korean guys). and I'm not going to say that I understand what you're feeling because I don't. Everybody feels things differently so I will never understand. I don't know you but I support you because you're worth living and we all need someone who listens to us. Not someone who tells us that he/she knows what it's like, just someone who listens. I hope that one day you will wake up and feel happy because you had a great dream and that dream will make your day. just be yourself and ignore the world, it's your life, you have to live it every day so you have to like it, not the world. I know that's easy to say but I try to and I have noticed that is works sometimes :)
    "live the life you love
    and you'll love the life you live"

    I wish you all the luck in the world
    and if you want to talk to a stranger, you can always talk to me.
    Some people (including me) find it easier to talk to strangers
     
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  19. Elf_lover

    Elf_lover Leader

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    Not now, but I have had. I had my first suicide attempt at 25.
    I'm a Mum so I wouldn't do it now.
     
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  20. vaalentinne

    vaalentinne Public Figure

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