A Quality Friend

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by nguyengiangv, Apr 5, 2016.

  1. rosslyn

    rosslyn Public Figure

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    Really? Hi fellow introvert pal, a lot of people says that I should also hang out with introverts but whenever i'm with them, I just can't get along with them, my psychologist told me that I shouldn't hang out with people that are similar to me
     
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  2. nguyengiangv

    nguyengiangv Rookie

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    Hey pal! I'm no psychologist, but I definitely think spending time with people opposite personalities to us help BOTH sides have more valuable experiences. I imagine if I only spent time with an introvert, I would never have gone to my first concert and fallen in love with a certain band, I would have never joined the high school club that changed my life, and I would be less willing to drive to new places (because driving scares me sometimes). My two best friends (who are pretty extroverted) helped open me up to do more daring, almost crazy things. But they were rare and exciting moments in my life that I'll always remember. I also have an introverted best friend and we spend chill Saturdays going to the movies or eating out together and I love it. But with her, it's hard to try new things because we both kinda psyche each other out. xD
     
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  3. nguyengiangv

    nguyengiangv Rookie

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    Thanks for your advice TTTT
    I definitely understand that people have different personalities and approach 'friendship' in different ways. I can also understand that people can be busy or just need time for themselves, because I'm like that too. Like I literally avoid talking to people right next to me just because I'm not in the mood.

    And reading your response, I think something I need to work on for myself is to be more honest and open about myself. Like if I'm feeling unhappy or unsatisfied, I should let them know. But it's scary because I do have a close friend I've known for 9-10 years, but over time we've drifted...and I feel like it's my fault because I was actually very vocal with her about how I felt, but for some reason she never really came full circle with me. The more discontent I showed, the more she drifted. So I guess it depends on the situation, and for me and that friend...we just weren't able to meet at the same ends. Just wasn't meant to be! Like you said, some people just react differently or are comfortable socializing in different ways, which is why I always ALWAYS give second chances. Quadruple chances! I never fully break off a friendship, and I'll always be there if they ever choose to invite me more into their lives. I just don't see it happening a lot to me, which brings me back to my most valued/appreciated quality of a friendship-when the other party pushes themselves to become better friends with me. When they take initiative. I can wait months for one hang out, but if that one hang out was planned by the other person JUST for me...that would mean a lot.
     
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  4. rosslyn

    rosslyn Public Figure

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    I totally understand you, my best friends are probably the most extroverted person ever, I also was afraid of trying new things, but they helped me to be more open and to socialize, I do have introverted friends too, I like to go with them to read a book, or chill at the movies, but they will never try new things with me, my best friends are the ones who have made me used to be around people and not freaking up
     
  5. kodoku

    kodoku Star

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    That's exactly what I'm complaining about though. It isn't me mistaking acquaintances for friends, it's everyone around me. I can't speak for people who live elsewhere, but where I live everyone uses the word 'friend' way too loosely and when it's convenient

    Yeah, I have the same concerns. I think I'm a nice person and a good friend. I generally treat people well even if they're just strangers on the street. Unfortunately for me, kindness is often viewed as weakness and an easy chance to gain something. Honestly, I feel like I give people the chance to use me, just because I hope that they will choose not to. I'm not perfect or anything, but I wish people would just treat me the way I treat them. I had a 'best friend' in elementary school who I was really good to as well, and she totally screwed me over and made a joke out of me in front of the whole school which caused me to get bullied every single day for the rest of elementary school (which was about 2 years), for no reason other than that I wasn't cool enough anymore. All those people I called my friends joined her and not gonna lie, it broke my heart. And hey, until you find that person, I can be your friend ^.^

    One true friend is worth more than a thousand fake ones, maybe I've just seen too much anime, but that's what I believe. There's no meaning in being with people who make me feel more alone than when I'm physically alone. So far, I've only been used and then tossed away somehow. I know how you feel, I also thought I had friends only to realize I was alone all along, I'm really sorry that happened to you :( And yeah, all I look for in a friend is just someone who won't use me or judge me basically, be like I am to you, just be a person and treat me like a human being, don't be a jerk and let's hang out pretty much

    [​IMG]
     
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