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A bride-to-be says her mother left home 16 years ago and is suddenly coming back to attend wedding

By KpopJoA   Tuesday, May 16, 2017   31,976   90   23
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A bride-to-be shared her hstory after she got in contact with her mother after 16 years.


On May 15, a 31-year old bride-to-be identified as 'A' decided to share her heartfelt story on an online community site and the post has gone viral. She said, "It may sound like a novel, but please bear with me as I write this."


'A' began, "Ever since I was little, my family struggled financially as my dad was working as a car mechanic, whereas my mother was a typical housewife. We all lived together with my younger sibling."


She continued, mentioning that during her elementary school days, her father went into debt in order to open up his own car shop.  However, business was so slow that he wasn't able to pay the loans.


"Since then, my parents fought constantly over finances.  When my father would come home from work, my mother would throw dishes at him and start cursing up a storm," looking back to her haunting past.


Unable to bear the burden, her mother left the house with her younger sister.  Three years later, her father's car shop went out of business as 'A' described how her family moved from location to location, trying to avoid the debt collectors.


Years later, it appeared things have settled down for the most part.  Currently, 'A' is engaged to marry her boyfriend she had met from work, whereas, her father was living in the suburbs after remarrying.  


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However, another problem recently arose.  "My mother recently texted me asking if it was okay to attend my wedding."  She added, "My father doesn't even know about this yet.  Honestly, I don't even want to remember the time my mother left the house on her own....What should I do?"


Reading this, netizens commented, "Doesn't seem right for a mother who abandoned her child when she needed her the most," "It's scary how she contacted her after all those years."  On the flip side, others commented, "What kind of mother wouldn't want to attend her daughter's wedding?" "It is between a mother and child after all..."

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animated_ahjumma Wednesday, May 17, 2017

I say she pretends she didn't get the message. I didn't talk to my mother forever and my grandmother pressured me into inviting her to my wedding. Talk about a fiasco. I only have 2 regrets in my life and that's one of them.

Ryo69 Wednesday, May 17, 2017

How about if she let her father decides! He was there for her while growing up!

mochachocolata11 Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Lol. She couldnt even be bothered to contact her even to wish her happy birthday for the last 16 years and now you want to be there cause you heard she's getting married? Girl bye. Let me tell you something. Being rejected by your parent sucks. IT HURTS. Ppl can go ahead and say "But she's her mother she should be there at her wedding", "Family is all you have" blah blah blah. All that doesnt mean a thing when somebody who claimed to have loved you, who brought you into this world and who should be there for you through thick and thin walks away. She was present figure in her life and walked off. She's selfish and only cares about herself. Its only now that she heard that her daughter's getting married that now she contacts her. She can go suck a dick with that request.

_Artikulo_Uno mochachocolata11 Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Agreed!

Leila_ssss Tuesday, May 16, 2017

It's definitely not wrong to want to reconnect with your mother as there will always be that longing but at the same time I don't think it's just a mother wanting to go to her daughter's wedding. To be quite honest if my mother had left me during a hard time in my life, I would see them has a stranger for the rest of my life. A mother should never leave their child at the hardest time in their life. It seems more like your father never gave up. Despite having debt, he took care of you. He's more than enough in your life without your mother. She hasn't talked to you for years, so why now? Ask yourself that question before answering your mother's.

Popview Tuesday, May 16, 2017

You are not a bad person for not wanting a relationship with a mother that was never there. You aren't ungrateful if you don't love a parent that never had your best interest. I say to hell with the mother.

Kpoploxer1 Tuesday, May 16, 2017

the mama definitely wants something. i'm wondering if her fiancee is a rich ceo or something

madforthis Kpoploxer1 Tuesday, May 16, 2017

It can also just be for appearances. Korean weddings are a bit more formal. The parents of the bride and groom have special seating and priority in the wedding party and most importantly, people talk if a parent is absent, It could be she doesn;t want to seem like a bad mother to the community and the wedding guests.

intricate Tuesday, May 16, 2017

she stopped being her mother 16 years ago. She's just some random person now.. i'm actually surprised that person was able to get in touch with the bride to be.

Laaur Tuesday, May 16, 2017

That makes it seem likely the mother had been keeping up with the daughter (maybe looking at her social media or other) which makes it seem worse. She sees her daughter struggling but only waits for the good, easy, fun times to come back into her life. I think it would be nice for them to reconnect but it shouldn't be at the wedding. They should definitely meet beforehand and then if it goes well the bride should decide whether or not she wants her.

Anon Tuesday, May 16, 2017

I'm sorry but if she had her number to contact her about her attendance at the wedding, then she had the means to contact her prior.

i_belong_to_yg Tuesday, May 16, 2017

It is never too late to make amends with family members, let alone with your own mother. such situations are hard to deal with, but at the end of the day, a family is a family, a mother is a mother and you can never avoid them for the bad they did during harsh times. even if you do, the guilt will eat you alive. I think this is perhaps a great opportunity for this daughter to move on from the past, to forgive, and honestly, nothing equals the pleasure of having your mother by your side at your happiest moment in life. plus, if your mother has your phone number to begin with, it means she had already made an effort to keep you in her thoughts.....

anon18382882883 i_belong_to_yg Tuesday, May 16, 2017

She stopped being her mother when she abandoned her own daughter in a rough time. I have no doubts the daughter went through even rougher times and wished she had her mother to be there and comfort her. It's not right for the mother to skip the tough times and then all of a sudden ask to show up in a happy time. A mother is someone who sticks with their child, through the happy and tough times. Someone who the child can go to for comfort and love. Someone who protected the child from dangerous people and dangerous places. Her mother did none of those things and therefore does not deserve to share a happy time with her daughter. You also said nothing equals the pleasure of having your mother by your side at your happiest moment in life. While I agree with that, for this woman, it won't be pleasurable. The mother possibly knows nothing at all about her daughter. On top of that, nothing equals the pleasure and comfort of having your mother by your side at your worst moments in life as well. Parents are not allowed to just simply skip over rough moments and only be there in the happy moments. Her "mother" is an acquaintance at best. And yes, it may seem good her mother has her phone number, but it really isn't. That means she had PLENTY of opportunity to contact her daughter, but she didn't. She COULD have been there to provide comfort, warmth, and love, but no. She chose not to.

i_belong_to_yg anon18382882883 Tuesday, May 16, 2017

look at you dictating what a mother "should" be and should not be..... 1) from what basis are you really swarming yourself with so much empathy to the daughter but not to the mother? 2) and how much of the hardship the mother went through do you know of? 3) and who made the rules for what a mother should do and shouldn't do? and no, a mother's role is not just to give "comfort"... a mother has also the full right to walk away if she feels she does not have the mental and physical strength to keep up with the hardship.... and it is truly up to the daughter to choose to forgive or not to forgive her mother, but you and I as people behind the screens, have no capability whatsoever in understanding or determining whether this mother was wrong or not, and whether the mother "should" have stayed or not.... and by the way, you used some pretty tough claims about the role of a mother up there.... I hope you keep that to heart so someday you make that "ideal" perfect, comforting parent for your children.....

animated_ahjumma i_belong_to_yg Wednesday, May 17, 2017

You said the same crap my sister's husband and my MIL said. People don't change. The "guilt" is a strawman. They said, "You'll feel guilty if you don't", but never worry about the mother's guilt of abandoning her child. As someone who was in a similar situation as the daughter, her mom forfeited all rights to be a mom when she left. And we know our mother's best. We know when things are for appearances or if they're trying to get something out of us. I'm lucky, because I got see what happened when my sister let our mother back into her life. It's all stupid drama, I'm glad I have no part of that mess. 100% guilt-free.

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